Germany and Romano and Sweets Equals Blackmail
by frogandrabbitsox
Summary: You know Germany and his little secret with sweets. Then comes Romano. With a camera. Uh oh. Idea from iTorchic's 333 ways to get kicked out of the UN, writing style derived from Bri Nara. Cassie's work, not Selena's. First story I wrote on this website. Thanks for the reviews, favs, and follows! Selena edited this.
1. S Italy should have his own evil laugh

_By: Cassie_

_Hey! This my first story. Warning: This is not a finished story. Plus, there will be fluff with odd poisonous spikes._

_I don't actually hate wurst and stuff; it just goes with the story (cuz there's Romano and... other people)_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia..._

"Dammit!" Lovino rushed past the all the people in the bustling town. Where was that potato bastard? He was gonna pay for corrupting Feliciano. Fratellino always smiled like an idiot and ate pasta like an airhead. Now, he acts even more like a dumb ass and constantly sings, "I like Germany! He's my best friend!"

Chigi! Lovino had to scream. And he never screamed. Unless the he was super scared or mad or Antonio was pulling at his curl and fondling... never mind that. Aha! There was the potato bastards house. YESSS! The door wasn't locked. That means he could sneak in, hit Ludwig hard with his Mafia punches, along with his _che palle _so that he won't even be able to drink his precious beer.

Lovino barely managed to slip into the door unnoticed. The merchant who did see him was held back by Lovino's Mafia death threat. He looked into the house. No sign of the bastard. He was probably in the bedroom reading... books. Like the boss he was, the cussing brown-haired nation crept up the stairs and started his search.

10 minutes later...

He cussed inwardly. Fu**(censored with good reason). He searched everywhere, even in the bathroom, and there was no sign. Not even a lock of pipe-cleaner hair. (I mean, how does he magically sweep his hair back like that without gel AND having it stay?) Since Lovino could not stand getting nothing, he picked up a camera that suspiciously looked like it was made in Italy. And it was. It doesn't do him much credit though. But, there was one place he didn't look: The kitchen. After all, the potato bastard couldn't cook anything but disgusting wurst and horrible potatoes. The exact foods that changed innocent Feli forever. If he was home, Ludwig was, against all odds, in the kitchen. So, Lovino,_ silently_ hopped downstairs, and guess what? Ludwig was there...

...In an apron. In a fricken pink, frilly apron with _From Feliciano with Love _stitched on the top. What was funnier was that he was icing a cake. A fricken pink and yellow cake that said _Happy Birthday Feli!_ Plus, he was singing _F is for friends who do stuff together..._OMG. The nation could not stop laughing inwardly. He shakily picked up the camera and aimed it right at Ludwig and the cake. Lovi took more pictures than the number of vodka bottles Ivan could drain. Finally, the nation could not hold it in any longer.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA POTATO BASTARD!WHY THE FU*** ARE YOU IN A FU***ING PINK APRON! PINK?! AND ICING A DAMN CAKE! YOU PATHETIC BASTARD! MY REVENGE IS COMPLETE! AND NOT WITH A IDIOTIC MUSTACHE!"

The look on Ludwig's face was priceless. Lovino, like the badass he was, took a picture of that face too. (High five to those who can legitimately draw this face. )

He raced out of the house, laughing like an evil maniac. After Lovino disappeared to his land, Ludwig yelled, "MEIN GOTT!" It was just as loud as Veneziano's PASTAAA!when he opened his eyes at the conference. The world felt it. And so did Lovi. He gleefully skipped toward his capitol, whistling a song about tomatoes and Antonio's love without even realizing it. This, he thought, was perfect blackmail.

And perfect is was.


	2. Spain opened his eyes!

Ludwig hit his head on the wooden counter for the 500th time. Why am I so stupid, he thought to himself, I should have never left the door open! I am way to careless. Quickly, he fell into depression, similar to the depression he got after loosing to Ivan in a drinking contest. And he always does. What can I do, he asked himself, What can I do to make this situation any better? Being a born worrier, Ludwig started pacing back and forth, back and forth. Ten minutes later, he gave up. He was too tired and could not think straight. Especially because he is nursing a hangover from a drinking contest with Scotland. That nation was the toughest man around; his kilt proved it. The nation hit the counter so hard it cracked and went back to decorating his cake, daydreaming about Italy and dirty books... if you know what I mean.

Lovino sped toward his house. However, Antonio, that bastard, grabbed Lovino and joyfully (and with his normal clueless expression) sung out, "There you are, my little tomato! I was wondering where you went. Lovi, where did you get camera from? Does it have pictures of my cute little nation? I want to see it!"

The nation with the curl, or Lovino, was clearly overwhelmed which the questions and began to get annoyed. "Shut up tomato bastard! This is nothing! Let go..." Then, a magical, perverted thought hit Antonio as hard as Ivan would hit someone with his pipe (Lot's of references to Russia!). Lovino suddenly screamed. CHIGIIII! OH SHI** ANTONIO WAS PULLING AT THAT CURL AGAIN! Lovi immediately turned limp and started blushing furiously; face hot, sweating, and helpless. Antonio smiled at the adorable sight and started singing, "Show me the picture my little tomato. Please? Please? Please?" He started twisting the curl in odd manners. Lovino, not being able to resist, had to give in. But, at the same time, an idea struck him too. So, he became an awesome actor and whispered, "All right, tomato bastard. Whatever you want."

Antonio jumped up! He had waited for his little tomato to do this for forever! The plea was so adorable! Finally, Lovi was bowing down willfully! And of course, he couldn't resist. In an even better mood, the nation of passion helped the other nation up and asked him, "Show?" The Mafia badass in Romano could barely conceal his smile. He lifted up the camera, and showed him all the pictures he had taken. Even the pictures of the dirty books in his room (never mentioned that, sorry :). That load of pictures must have been very amazing. Why? Because Spain had a face of pure shock. And his eyes opened. His eyes opened.

After 3 minutes of trauma, Antonio declared in an terrifyingly joyful voice, "I'm going to tell Gilbert."

He grabbed the camera and ran. He ran as fast as Feli when there is pasta dead ahead. Soon enough, he disappeared from sight. Not the kind of disappearing Matthew does when he is ignored.

This plan was working perfectly. God bless Lovi's luck.


	3. WARNING: Prussia's laugh causes trauma

A Halloween special Part I.

KABAMM! The door got ran over. And the door was metal. With spikes. And a note that said "GO AWAY ELIZAVETA". The only person who could have that power would be Italy for pasta, or...

"GILBEEEEEEEERT!" a blur of brown and red ran straight into the albino nation, "I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS TO TELL YOU!"

"Okay Antonio! Don't f***ing run into the awesome me! What the f*** drove you all the way to my awesome house?" Gilbert protested.

"Okay..." The nation paused to catch his breath and take Senor Tortuga of the floor, where he fell from a pocket. The turtle seemed a bit dazed and indifferent, kind of like his usual self, "But, what is up with that costume..."

Gilbert, the albino nation, glared at Antonio. However, the costume of Mother Gilbird on him totally did no credit. What made the display even cuter was that sixteen identical Gilbirds and Gilbird himself were cuddling up to their supposed "Mother" "What, is there something wrong with it?"

Spain melted into a pure happiness. The sight of Gil actually being fatherly (or motherly) was soooooo adorable, like the time when he raised the Holy Roman Empire (or Germany's child self). And so he took out Senor Tortuga. "Here, little Gilbirds. Go play with them my little tortuga (turtle in Spanish)!"

The turtle slowly crawled into the mess of fluffy yellow birds and seemed to have fallen asleep. Like the perfect fluff moment. But then, the birds, obviously confused and maybe suspicious, pecked at his shell. One seemed to think that the turtle was food... And there goes the poisonous spikes. Fluff moment destroyed. Antonio shrieked and took the turtle back and never took it out again. Prussia started laughing his ass off "KESESESESESESESE You idiot! Don't put a damn turtle near my awesome birds you moron! KESESESESESESE!" Probably that was the reason why Senor Tortuga was never shown in the anime (and if you look closely, you can probably see F*** YOU written on the shell. Dang, those birds are deviously smart.) Spain looked at the whole, fluffy picture again. AND he fell for the adorableness again. Awwwww, he thought, It reminds me of my adorable little tomato...

At the mention of Romano, Antonio suddenly remembered the news.

"Gil," he said with ultimate joy and could barely contain his excitement, "I found out... something... about your brother.

The "Potato Bastard!"'s brother's eyebrows arched with confusion and laughed. "Kesesesese,what about him?"

Antonio started rapidly talking, like the type of talking Veneziano does when he is being held at gunpoint, but without the tinge of submission nor protest. "So, la tomate (the tomato) was going to get revenge on Ludwig because of Feli, and ends up sneaking around his house. Lovi found him in the kitchen, with a pink apron, icing a cake..." Antonio found himself stuttering and inwardly freaking out about the pictures. So, he whipped out the camera and showed them all to Gilbert. Every. Single. Damn . Picture. Even the one with the dirty book.

As Gilbert moved from picture to picture, his eyes became wider and wider and his jaw dropped. Literally. And for an albino that laughed at everything, it was hilariously shocking.

After a moment of silence, Gilbert roared with laughter so hard, every single Gilbird flew away from his head and started migrating early. Well, except for the original Gilbird, who was used to this, but the laugh must have been outrageous, because how often do you see Gilbird flying around him from a 20 feet radius? Mr. Red Eyes managed to gasp out a few words.

"Ludwig... Dirty books? I suspected it... but that one about dogs? *Insert 210 decibel-loud...noise, puddles, and earmuffs* And WHAT THE FU** WAS THE FRILLY PINK APRON... WITH FROM FELI WITH LOVE... *Inserts small seizure with gasps of air* ICING A PINK BIRTHDAY CAKE *KESESESESESESE*! DAFUQ IS WRONG WITH HIM! KESESESESESESESESESESE!"

The albino ended up in a hospital after that. Apparently, he suffered from shock. And even Elizaveta couldn't explain why.

The "Tomato Bastard!" gave a hint. He wanted to say this, but since Prussia couldn't be interrupted, he decided to do the best. Probably the best thing he did in his life.

"F***," the Gil groaned, "The awesome me DID NOT faint at all." He lifted his arms to stretch like he just woke up from a nap. Well, he did. The Gilbert noticed something. Where was his yellow Mother Gilbird costume? And where was Gilbird?

"S***!" he cursed, "They F***ing took of my awesome clothes! Where the..." The idiot trailed off, noticing his yellow costume beside him with a bandaged Gilbird resting in it. The poor birdie suffered from heart failure, thanks to the wild laugh provided by his owner. Prussia then saw a strange, blurry, black object besides his white pillow. Everything was white, including his face and his hair almost blended in. The black object had something taped to it. Sitting up, he grabbed whatever it was (probably America's prank with England's charcoal, I mean, scones) and, yes, it was a camera. The camera. The note said: Francis: 8:30 PM. Gil looked up at the white clock and grinned. He understood. Francis should come in any minute now.

A blue-clad figure with a gold mane sauntered in. The smell of roses invaded his nose. "Bonjour Gilbert," the one and only Francis purred, "I was, ah, worried. It isn't like you to get trauma for no reason. Drunk, non? Probably banging up Roderiech's piano. I could hear the noise even at the top of my Eiffel Tower."

The albino smiled evilly. His red eyes sparkled like Edward the Vampire and took out the camera and said, "You're right. It isn't like the awesome me at all, but the awesome me will tell you why." He beckoned the French womanizer forward and held out the camera. "So it starts out like this..."

**_Cliffhanger! _**


	4. Holy Rome and Italy reunite!

**_My suddenly long chapter! XD! This is not the finished Halloween special. The next chapter will end it, so, yes, keep on_**_ waiting._

Francis walked out of the hospital room... with a wide, pervy smile on his face. His eyes twinkled with, well, pervy ideas. A nurse walked by, staring at him as if he just turned into a werewolf. The blonde nation glanced and smiled romantically at her, and the lady nearly fainted. Not too bad, frog. Not too bad...

As he made his way to Arthur's, Francis fell into a mini-flash-back moment.

"_Kesesesese... So the older tomato bastard that's not Antonio went to kick my bruder's ass. When he went to the kitchen, well, Luddie was there. And..." He trailed of and the albino's fiery red eyes shined with malice, evil, and madness. And maybe amusement._

_Gil turned on the camera. Francis arched his eyebrows. "So you fell into shock just because of your brother? That is-is-"_

_The pervert's eyes seemed to bulge out. His face features contorted into disbelief. But, the photos weren't Photoshopped, he could tell after reading so many, um, books._

_The blonde nation analyzed each picture carefully. The first one did not surprise him. After all, he thought, Didn't everyone read mature books once in a while? The one about dogs though, was...ah, a slight exception. Moving on. The next picture- OHONHONHONHON :D Ludwig! So much people thought you so innocent, but that has completely changed, hasn't it? I suspected GerIta, thanks to the author (NOPE DON'T MENTION ME IN THIS STORY FROG!) and yes, THE BEAUTY! AH, THE BEAUTY OF LEMON (ya**). The relationship is certainly taking its toll on Ludwig. After all, the song and the pink, frilly "With Love" apron AND the cake proved so much. Who knew such a gruff man can bake CAKE? Aha, if I spill the secret..._

_Francis was snapped out of his thoughts by Gilbo the Awesome, saying, "Don't ignore the awesome me , frog(with an British accent mimic)!" Francis winced at the nickname Angleterre gave him, but he let it go. His perverse smile came back to his face. He knew just what to do._

The nation came back to the present when he arrived at the British gentleman's house with his suitcase by his side. As he knocked on the door, he heard a distant and muffled "BLOODY HELL!" and inhaled the smell of burnt food. Instantly he knew that Angleterre was not in a good mood. He should humor him, but that part of Francis' brain always told him not to. When the tsundere man opened the door, France tried so hard not to laugh, but...

"OHONHONHON", France burst out laughing, "Angleterre is a little punk star, non?"

Arthur's cheeks burst with red, right up to his caterpillar eyebrows. "SHUT UP, FROG! DON'T JUDGE WHEN YOU HAVE A WORSE COSTUME TO WEAR!" He was clad in black and gray, maybe hilariously neon colors. He had emo eye-make-up and wore a punk collar with spiked hair. His leather clothes with large boots made him look like he tapped into his old Punk mode, but his stiff- upper-lip self wouldn't let him do that. Obviously le Angleterre was forced to wear these clothes by America for Halloween, even though part of his Christianity wouldn't let him do that. But even so...

France smiled like a pervert again. "Ohonhonhon, how would you know, if you never even saw my costume?" Arthur opened his mouth to retort, but Francis quickly replied, "But since you seem so very interested /**insert perverted laugh**/ I shall-" He stopped midway to, um...

Strip. Yes, he stripped infront of Mr. Stiff upper lip. France's usual blue and red attire revealed fair, smooth skin. His golden mane stood out even more than usual. His sky-blue eyes, similar to America (So that is where he got Alfie got his eyes from :) shone with triumph. He was completely naked, with the exception of a.) a red crotch rose and b.) some very revealing underclothes.

Artie was mortified. Although he had seen him like this a couple of times, wearing that to public, knocking on other people's doors and showing his crotch rose to kids was unacceptable. Definitely unacceptable.

"YOU BLOODY PERVERTED FROG! DON'T GO AROUND SHOWING YOU ARSE IN PUBLIC! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I WENT OVER TO YOUR HOUSE THAT NIGHT! PLUS, YOU STOLE MRS. FAIRY!" The now-called British empire practically screeched out those words with his face as red as Antonio's tomato, and by that, I do not mean Romano.

Suddenly, a random Alfred appeared! "Dude Iggy, chillax! It's a miracle that no one had deaf ears! Hahaha!" Alfred wore a Superman costume, complete with a red cape and boxers on the outside, sewn by Angleterre. When the punk star saw that, he screamed, "DON'T WEAR YOUR UNDERCLOTHES ON THE OUTSIDE ALFRED!" Of course, the former colony was totally oblivious to whatever was said, and he commented, hopefully without thinking, "Francis, cool costume dude. Come inside." That was the last straw. Arthur fainted in sheer horror, mumbling something along the lines of: "I knew the frog shouldn't have been the father. That is what happens when a pervert teaches its children." and "You idiot! You don't invite a pedo into someone else's house!". So, they two ended up dragging him inside.

"Dudes!" Alfred yelled, "Gather at the couch! We have important plans that are made by me, the hero!"

Normally, when Alfred yells that, it is never good. Since he was hosting the party, however, everything goes his way. And no nation likes missing the fun. Every single nation in the world, (how did they even fit in Artie's house anyway?) including the unconscious owner plopped themselves near the drab furniture. Francis looked around. There was quite an assortment of costumes. Matthieu was in a polar bear costume with Kumajirou, currently being harassed by Gil, who's in that Mother Gilbird costume. And Gilbo the great kept on eyeing the pervert, silently reminding him of what to do (and that will be revealed later). Lovino was there too, looking deviously happy about his revenge and very pissed off because of the tomato costume that he was force-dressed into. Antonio sat right next to him with a gleeful smile on his face while in his, um, Pedo-bear costume (wait, are those things in his hands UNDERCLOTHES?!O_O OHONHONHON!) . Veneziano looked equally as clueless in his maid costume (Antonio also found it in the attic, but Feli VOLUNTEERED to wear it). He seemed to have dragged Ludwig here against his will. But who couldn't resist his puppy stare? Ludwig was in the Holy Roman Empire costume (the "tomato bastard!" strikes again!), not knowing that he was the Empire when he was young. His face was red as Artie's that showed feelings of guilt, embarrassment, horror, and a little bit of happiness? Ohonhonhon... Francis smiled knowingly. This will be so fun when he tells Angleterre...

Yao was in a Shinatty-chan suit hugging Panda, with a bigger panda named Ivan by his side. Natalya (Belarus) was dressed up as the maid of the Phantomhive household, the one with glasses, from the manga Kuroshitsuji (cosplay!) with Ukraine (Katyusha), in her farmer outfit, next to her. Kiku wore a costume that looked so very similar to Kaito, the Vocaloid.. Im Yong Soo wore an outfit featured in Gangnaum style. Mei Mei was eyeing Heracles (Greece), the cat knight, with an evil eye. Kaoru (Hong Kong) stayed home. Vash forbade Lilli (Liechtenstein) to go. The Baltic nations were hiding with ridiculously girly costumes from Feliks (Poland), who was in a female model costume. Elizaveta (Hungary) was in a I LOVE LEMON (or ya**) shirt and carrying button cameras, recorders, you name it, she got it. Roderiech (Austria) was stuck in normal-people clothes when he lost a bet and was dared to look like a commoner. Sealand stuck a sign onto his shirt that said "I'M A NATION!" (which no one bothered to look at) next to a formally dressed Isabelle (my name for Monaco). The whole lot of other nations were dressed in various clothes, mostly inappropriate ones, and covered the whole living room.

"Ladies and gentleman," Alfred announced, "I declare that we go trick-or-treating at my place, since I have the best trick-or-treating neighbors, and get super high on candy, while I am still the hero!"

Yong Soo screamed, "Trick-or-treating was originated in Korea da-ze! Without looking Yao hit him with a wok. Somebody decided to stick a full water bottle onto the cooking device for an extra splash, but when he swung, the water bottle came in contact with Yong Soo's curl, but the water, well... The stream of water, against all odds, decided to fall straight on Arthur's face. The grumpy nation suddenly jolted awake and screamed, "BLOODY HELL!" His eyes almost glowed neon, but quickly settled back to his original color. Angleterre looked around. And seemed to absorb whatever Alfie said. He yelled back, "WHY THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO YOUR HOUSE TO DO WHATEVER YOU DRAGGED ME INTO? YOU DOLT! I'M NOT GOING ANY MORE! I AM BY NO MEANS GOING TO GET "HIGH" ON SWEETS! AND NEXT TIME, YOU SHOULD TALK LIKE WHAT YOU JUST SAID, WITH NO SKEWERED ENGLISH!" The nations became absolutely silent. And then, Francis held him by the arm. He smiled, "Angleterre, can you stay, just for me? And our chi-"

"NO WE DON'T! WE DON'T HAVE WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID!" Mr. Bushy Eyebrows raged with red skin. But it was too late. Once the nations absorbed this fact, they all started gaping and laughing. Elizaveta squealed at that fact got a nearby tissue to stop her bloody nose. Quickly, she whipped out a memo pad and wrote down: FrUK! THEY HAVE CHILDREN! OMG I WONDER..."

Suddenly, Ivan spoke up and silenced everyone with his creepy smile, "Will there be vodka? A lot of vodka?"

Alfred, finally back on track, replied, "Well, I bought enough alcoholics to fill up the entire garage and attic! Come on, dudes!" The countries immediately became excited and followed Mr. Super hero to the 5 large cars, dubbed the "Bat Mobile". Arthur and Francis were pulled along. The punk sighed. This, he thought, will be a long night. Especially with the alchohol. Thank goodness Flying Mint Bunny knew where he was all the time.

Good luck, Artie!


	5. Author's note Sorry for the delay!

Author's note:

Hey! It's Cassie, and I'm here to say sorry for the delays for this story! I had a writer's block and couldn't write for a couple of days. After a talk with my partner (Selena says hi), I feel motivated. Hopefully, my motivation will (at least) keep me going until I finish the chapter, which will, with luck, be done on Thursday, 11/8/12. At the very most, the delay last until the week before Thanksgiving, I think Wednesday. I hope you can forgive me. Plus, I have a spoiler. Those who do not want to peek into my next chapter can move onto a story that is way better than this one. But, to those readers who are interested, read on!

Spoiler: Yes, Vash (Switzerland) is coming into the story. With a shotgun, of course. There will be a little more than a crumb of FrUK. For those people who love Romano, I will put him into my next chapter. And that's all for my spoilers. I hope you can fav, review, and/or follow my story! Thanks!


	6. Kiku's computer password is ILOVEKITTENS

_Sorry! I couldn't manage to fit the FrUK moment in the chapter, with such a due date. I woke up an hour early to finish the chapter, so someone better read it!_

* * *

Door bells rang. Shuffles of feet were loud enough to be heard inside the house. Screams and quarrels echoed across the sidewalk. That was the normal Halloween.

However, the nations were anything but normal, and so everybody near Washington D.C. was prepared. But not prepared enough.

As the rowdy group, to say the least, rang the doorbell, it suddenly opened with a lady saying, "Happy Halloween!" And so Alfred replied back, "Trick or treat!"

Did everyone do this? Heavens no. It went in some order like this:

America snatched up some candy from the bowl and yelled "Happy Halloween!"

Arthur started muttering some profanities and saying "Thank you" at the same time, while he was hitting his former colony on his head. The lady's smile faltered a little.

The Bad Touch Trio... starting with Gilbert cussing at her, Antonio good-heartedly "pat" her on the back, and Francis, well, flirting. She didn't fall for it. In fact, she looked like she was going to be like Elizaveta onto Gilbert, waving a frying pan to hit the nations on their head.

All the countries gathered up the door, shouting, screaming, cussing, flirting, hassling, whining, creeping people out with their weird smiles, and so forth. When all (insert number here)nations left, the poor lady was in shock and immediately called for a therapist and dug through her drawers for aspirin. She wouldn't give out candy any more, for the rest of her life.

This happened 200 times or so throughout the night. The reactions were quite different though. One man slammed the door in their faces, earning him a ransacked house and a smack in the face. One lady burst out crying. Another didn't even bother opening the door. And surprisingly, the therapist had just received about 100 emails requesting an appointment. She smiled. There will be a busy schedule coming up.

One time, the nations even walked into a house for a "trick" and ended up seeing a teenager with her boyfriend in the bedroom, on the bed. Well, that experience was not-so-great. The nations ran for their lives out of that house and 3 blocks away, not even bothering to steal any stuff nor playing a prank.

"Alfred," Arthur the Punk gasped out, "Let us NEVER walk into someone's house without permission. Ever." All the nations nodded their heads and promised to never talk about this again. Even Francis shut up.

While walking along the sidewalks (Sidewalks? What sidewalks?) of the city, there were a couple of mothers with their children coming closer while chatting. The annoying pervert waved at the ladies and winked. Flirt step number one complete. Then, he SLOWLY took off his underclothes, only leaving his crotch rose intact. The mothers started swooning and blushing, while the children were confused. They looked around and spotted the stripper. One of them asked his mom, "Mommy, what is that rose doing between his legs?"

Artie was mortified. This was going way over the limits, you pervert! He quickly kicked Francis in the gut and pulled him away with his underclothes. And of course, because he was a parent to so many young colonies, Angleterre started lecturing the idiot.

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" the punk nation thundered, "YOU DON'T STRIP IN FRONT OF CHILDREN! WHAT IS WITH YOU AND GREED, LUST, STRIPPING, AND YOUR FLAWED SENSE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS?! FROG, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU STAYED WITH ALFRED AND MATTHEW WHEN I WAS GONE! YOU WERE A HORRIBLE PAREN-" Suddenly just realizing what he just said, Arthur turned beet-red and quickly corrected himself, "-YOU WERE A... A... HORRIBLE KIDNAPPER! YES, YOU KIDNAPPED THEM!" Of course, at this point, no one believed him. The Bad Touch Trio smiled their best perverted smiles at him, and Elizaveta dug furiously for a tissue. On her memo pad, she wrote, "THEIR CHILDREN ARE ALFRED AND... I THINK HE SAID MATTHEW! AMERICA AND, UM, CANADA?! I HAVE TO ASK KIKU TO MAKE A MANGA ABOUT THIS!"

The other nations started laughing and slamming the two blond-haired nations together, saying things that definitely made a pairing out of them. Was it true? I'll let you figure it out ;).

After 5 hours of trick-or-treating, stealing candy, ransacking houses and stores in Maryland and getting away with it, ACCIDENTALLY walking into awkward moments (take a hint), getting high on whatever sugary stuff they were eating (inflatable Peeps!), and totally NOT acting like the countries they were supposed to be, while being instead abnormally crazy human beings, the nations arrived at the Batmobile at 2:00 AM. Obviously, they were a mess, sweating, panting, laughing, costumes drooping and in some cases, falling off (FRANCIS!). Luckily, there was a couple of people who COULD drive and WON'T RAM INTO THE STOP SIGNS when driving. So, Matthew was stuck with a giggling Alfred and who-knows-how-many nations in the back seats. Luckily for the nations, the trip to America's house was short. If the punk dude was stuck in the back any longer, he would've pulled out a stick with a star at the end and turn everyone into frogs. And so I end the amazingly heroic journey of Arthur surviving a 30 minute drive with all the nations crammed into the back seat. It was hard for our hero to survive sexual comments and acts from Francis, screams of joy from Hungary when she discovered information, Gilbert poking his not-so-invisible former colony, Yao glaring at him while reenacting the Opium Wars in his mind, Peter pestering to be acknowledged as a country, and so many more things that I lost count, not to mention that he wanted to jump out of the window. Arthur ran out of the mobile and was never happier to see that the door was unlocked. All the other nations jumped out and made a beeline for the door too.

The Bad Touch Trio and Romano met at the secret place that they planned so long ago, the laundry room. Romano tried his best to stay away from the blonde pervert, by hiding behind Antonio, pelting rotten tomatoes at him,-everything. But, in order to get his revenge, he had to go to the secret meeting. There was an inevitable smile on their face as they talked about their plans for GerIta. Francis slurred his words considerably as if there was some one to be seduced, "I'm supposed to manipulate Angleterre so that our, ah, secret information will get out, right? Then, they will certainly push us into a room, considerably with liquor, non? Ohonhonhon...Should I get him drunk before I tell him the secrets of Ludwig?"

Gilbert instantly replied, "Yeah, get him drunk, 'cuz he won't accept the stuff if he was sober. Besides, he's an easy drunk, unlike the awesomest me, and so you won't need to waste those precious bottles of German beer."

Antonio asked in his usual clueless voice, "My darling tomato, what are we going to do after we give Inglaterra the information? What will he even do with the information?"

Lovi became red as a ripe tomato upon hearing this and replied, "Shut up tomato bastard! Don't use that weird name to describe me!"

"But Lovi-!"

"Nope! No way bastard! As I was saying...um...after we give Arthur the info, we'll just wait. You know what is going to happen-he gives it to the bastard Alfred, and he'll show-" He was cut off by a loud announcement and annoying laughter. Alfred was calling all nations!

The group quickly scrambled over and melted into the crowd of nations. Alfred, the obnoxious one, yelled, "Ha-ha! Now for the Halloween candy trade! You'll love it! Who doesn't love the best chocolates ever, which are obviously American chocolates? It's the BEST! Ha-ha!"

At that, Bella (Belgium), the cowboy and Feliciano, the maid, stood up. France, even though he was being insulted, knew better, because he was saving a little surprise for the right time. And it was coming up soon. Germany looked slightly irritated and was tempted to yell at him, but he restrained. After all, he couldn't do anything rash when Lovino was eying him evilly.

Bella yelled, "You liar! My chocolates are way better than yours. It is on the Top European Chocolates list! (It's true, I saw the list) Plus, we actually use CACAO BEANS, unlike your cheap sweets! I guarantee that they will be some of the best chocolates you will ever taste in your life!"

Feli started protesting, "Ve~my chocolates have cacao too. A lot of cacao. I think it is on the list, like Ms. Bella's chocolates. I believe that, ve~, I can make better chocolates too." (Italy's chocolate=AWESOME! EUROPEAN CHOCOLATE IS AWESOME! Not kidding!)

Alfred just laughed, "Nope, we got the best chocolates ever! I don't know what kind of sucky chocolates you have, but whatever!"

At this, Bella turned on her rage mode. She speed-dialed a number on her cell, and started rapidly talking. "Hey, Vash (Switzy), Alfred insulted our awesome European chocolates by calling them sucky and saying his chocolate is so much better. What should we do with the bastard?/insert silence from nations and rapid German/"

There was a moment of pause, and then, loud and clear, Vash said, "I'm coming over right now with my shotgun. Stall them. _Komm Lilli._"

Just at this moment, Francis spoke up, "Well, did you know that I also have chocolates on that list? Who wants to try my pure dark chocolates?" All the micronations dashed for the chocolates and replied, saying, "THESE ARE SOOOO GOOD!" Then they started doing odd, perverted things best left unsaid. The other nations, suspicious, took a bite, and immediately they started partying. From tense to drunk partying. And what do you think was in the chocolates? Pure top-grade wine. High in alcohol. Elizaveta, who took a bite, automatically went lemon-crazy (ya** crazy) and screamed at the top of her lungs, "THESE GUYS NEED TO STAY IN ONE ROOM! FrUK! FrUK! FrUK!" However, when Ivan took a bite, he didn't say anything but smile. Then he headed for the garage to get is Russian water while leaving a recorder of him saying some normal words just in case Natalya (Belarus) was nearby. Some nations also headed for the garage, including Alfred, who got a 12 of those chocolates, while some others. Sadly, Arthur was tricked into eating one when he saw on of France's chocolates in the shape of his scone. Then, he immediately went woozy and started mumbling about Catholicism and Protestant churches. Antonio, Gil, and Elizaveta (who they revived with some stuff found in burnt scones) borrowed Kiku's computer and started installing cameras in the attic, where Francis was to give the info away. Some Nordic countries found Arthur and Francis just after the preparations were complete. The drunks started laughing madly, shouting something about FrUK, and shoved the two into the attic, along with Elizaveta, who was very pro at acting. As soon as the two were shoved into the attic... um...

Mad dash to the laundry room! This time, the lemon-crazy girl came too. As they turned on the computer, hacked, I meant GUESSED the password (hey, how is it NOT possible to hack into an account with a password of ILOVEKITTENS?), opened the hard drive, and turned the cameras/recorders/video tapers on. Lovino (who obviously knew the plan all along) gleefully cackled as he planned some humiliating moments for Ludwig to come. Gil suddenly asked, while waking up Gilbird on his head, "Wait, should we check on _bruder_ and Feli before we start?"

Francis smirked, "I put a sleeping drug and.. non, I put the drug and tied them up in one room."

Lovi, who did not look violent at all in his tomato costume, was not impressed. "Perverted bastard, I know you put Viagra in the sweets too!"

The Bad Touch Trio became silent. Elizaveta ran for another tissue and took out her pad. GERITA! she wrote FRANCIS TIED UP THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE AND THE CUTE MAID WITH VIAGRA IN ONE ROOM! OMGOMGOMG!

Then a round of perverted laughs congratulated the annoying stripper, who proudly took of his crotch rose... and got slapped in the face and had to wear normal clothes for the rest of the day.

"Bastards," Romano yelled frantically, "It's starting!"

The group of conspirators gathered near the little computer. And here it starts.

* * *

_Another Cliffhanger! AN/ **Komm Lilli **means: come Lilli (Liechtenstein). **Bruder **means: brother. The website for the premium chocolates is /Food-Beverage/Gourmet/Premium-Chocolate-Best-European-Chocolatiers/Premium-Chocolate-Best-European-Chocolatiers /AN_


	7. New record of nosebleeds, Elizaveta!

AN/ This is the end of my Halloween special mixed with the actual story plot. Enjoy! The paragraphs look boring and long, but please bear with me.

* * *

"Angleterre," Francis slurred his words with good measure, "Sit at this table _si-vou-plait. _There's plenty of alcohol to go around." After all, they were locked in the attic, with cameras, speakers, and video cameras trained on the brown table and huge amounts of alcoholics, provided by the one and only America.

"Doooon't use yooour skeeeeweeered Engliiiish wiiiiith the Queeen's Freeeench. I sweeeear to druuuunk I'm nooot Goooooood..." Arthur lazily drawled out. His punk clothes were falling off, and the make up was starting to smudge. He dropped himself on the chair and pulled out some whiskey and drank. Francis took out some of his lower-alcohol-content wine and sipped it. After all, he had to give the information away to tell the world, non? That was what the whole Bad Touch Trio wanted to do, which went perfectly with the ever-so-badass Romano's plan, which was to have the revenge he deserved.

Francis, who was sadly/fortunately in his normal clothes (for those people like Hungary, sorry. For those people who are NORMAL FANGIRLS... ;) sighed and threw another chocolate scone at the wasting punk. Since his eyesight drastically went down, Arthur grabbed the chocolate, thinking it was his food, and ate it. Immediately, he went cold, but was suddenly revived because the scone was just chocolate-coated, inside was actually charcoal, I mean, whatever Arthur's normal scones' insides were like. So, the poor punk was half-conscious and wasting away with beer in his hands, also muttering at his fairy friends. The former stripper, poked the nation in the eyebrows, causing him to jump in alarm and nearly destroy 300 bottles of whiskey lying around the table.

Francis muttered some sort of curse, but quickly changed into his I-will-be-tolerant-to-my-drunk-wife-and-will-attempt-to-rape-him mode.

"Angleterre," the seducing nation purred, "I have amazing news for you. You will listen, non? After all, this info will help you and Alfred. Ohonhonhon..."

The other nation, currently too drowsy to comprehend the perverse laughter, just managed out, "Suuure, whaaaateeeevvver..." Which was odd. Who knew Artie could speak American? That's skewered English for you, you hypocrite! Francis smiled perversely, and all the viewers (the rest of the BTT, Romano, and Elizaveta) could hear his thoughts. Liza's nose gushed with blood and she started furiously writing more things down. FRANCIS WILL RAPE ARTIE WHEN HE'S DRUNK? THINGS ARE GETTING HOT! LEMON! FRUK! OMGOMGOMG I'M AM SOOOO GONNA WATCH THE REST OF THE VIDEO! THANK GOSH IT IS BEING RECORDED! Antonio and Gilbert's faces lit up with delight and perversion. Lot's of perversion. If you were in their brains right now, you would see the mental- OMG NOOOOO MENTAL IMAGES DOOO NOT WANT! STOP IT LIZA! I, THE AUTHOR, COMMAND YOU TO STOP!-images... Lovi's face grew red, but he scowled with disapproval. The bastard isn't doing it right! Tell him the info right now! Seeing Lovi so red, like his tomato costume, made Antonio ALMOST squeal with joy. Suddenly, his inner pedophile (almost completely released when he chose to wear that pedobear costume) came to life, and so he started, um, patting Lovi on the head. Mother Gilbird chose this moment to KESESESESESE, only to be almost decapitated by a frying pan of doom. Not wanting to have 1.)missed the show of awesomeness on the screen and 2.)be killed by Elizaveta, the true man in the group, the "men" groaned and faced the screen, only to be confronted by...

"...GerIta... yes, Ludwig was baking a pink cake for Feli with a pink apron and singing a childish song... Oh, did I mention the hardcore books?" Francis was rattling off with an occasional OHONHONHON. Artie was laughing his arse of while drinking the bottles of whiskey underfoot, shouting profanities and saying, "LIES, LIES" when he actually knew it was true. How could he not when he saw the evidence (camera strikes again) and was totally drunk? Miraculously (or not), the punk was absorbing the information faster than Gilbert could eat Mattie's pancakes. Then, the moment came. Francis looked at the camera with a Chesire Cat Pervert Smile and grabbed the chocolates and swallowed them whole. The crowd looked on with wide eyes. Then, he grabbed England, ripped off his jacket, and...

Elizaveta was propelled off of the ground with her nosebleed. She grabbed 200 tissues and stuffed them into her nose. Then, she whipped out her notebook and pencil and started writing at maybe MACH 2, recording everything, I mean EVERYTHING, that appeared on the screen. Romano screamed, "CHIGGIIII! MY EYES! MY AWESOME BAD-ASS EYES!" and hid himself behind Antonio, who looked at the screen with pure interest and seemed to want to fap... Gilbo was screaming, successfully making all Gilbirds flee for their lives, all sorts of phrases, "GOO FRANCIS! YEAH, YOU GO FLIP HIM ONTO HIS STOMACH! DO IT SO HARD HIS ARSE WON'T BE ABLE TO BE USED FOR MONTHS! OOOOOH AWESOME! MAKE HIM SCREAM LIKE THAT AGAIN! GROAN, ARTIE, GROAN!" I'll leave the images up to you lemon-lovers. Enough said.

20 minutes later... Artie was successfully [BLANK] thoroughly and was still moaning. Francis was panting hard and was sweating like mad. Elizaveta stared at the screen, mumbling, "So that's how Alfred was born..." Romano looked aghast. Antonio smiled ever-so-perversely as he reached for his tomato. Prussia was clapping and encoring very loudly. Francis looked at the screen. He panted out, "That was fun... Ohonhonhon... Feel free to watch us get into a fight over-" His message was cut short by another alert window.

Miss Lemon Lover's eyes widened. She gasped. "We have detected movement in Ludwig and Feli's room!" All eyes averted to the window she opened. They sat in perfect silence. Then the footage began to unfold...

"Feliciano, why are we-"Ludwig was cut short as he looked aghast at what lay before him. He was tied up in this Holy Roman Empire costume with Feli, who was the maid. Tied together, only centimeters apart.

The blond nation blushed furiously. He never knew Feliciano would look so-ssso-so... cute in that costume. The brown-haired nation looked up. He smiled his usual sweet smile, "Ve~Ludwig! It's nice to see that you're alright. I wonder why we are tied up like this. Hey, your face seems red. Do you have a fever? Let me check." Feli's face was etched with concern has he reached a hand to touch Ludwig's face. He flinched a little and turned even a deeper shade of red. The little maid blushed a little, but he smiled.

"Ludwig, you know, don't feel that embarrased, ve~! We are best friends forever! BFFs! I'll love you until the end of the world! You'll still share pasta with me right?" The brown-haired nation inquired a little deeper, turning a funny shade a pink. "But lately," he said thoughtfully, "I seemed to blush quite often,ve~, and sometimes I feel so self-conscious. Mostly around you. Could it be? Could it be that-?" Uh oh... Someone accidentally swallowed viagra...

The other nation put his hands around the little maid. "You don't need to say it, Feli. I know what you are going to say _Geliebte." _They faced each other and leaned close until there was no space left between their faces. GOSH GERITA IS SO FLUFFY!

The BTT looked out in shock. Elizaveta started to have a nosebleed for the umpteenth time. She scribbled GERITA IS REAL! THIS IS GOING TO MAKE HEADLINES! THEY KISSED! THEY ARE LIKE THE PERFECT FLUFF MOMENT WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER (going beyond the fourth wall again :) Lovi looked in pure horror, but then recovered has his Mafia-styled smile returned to his face as he took the footage and made a copy, in less than a second. The blackmail is complete! BWAHAHAHA! Lovi laughed his trademark Mafia laugh, which sent little shivers up Antonio's spine. This DEFINITELY wasn't the little tomato he knew. The twin held the chip and put it securely in a secure pocket. Then, they saw in the FrUK footage...

Vash. Vash lined every nation up and held them at gunpoint. They were forced into handcuffs and put in a line. Alfred was being beaten up by Bella, who wasn't cuffed for a reason. Lilli overlooked the nations holding the shotgun she barely knew how to use, unless she was super pissed. Francis and Arthur were dragged out of the room, wailing and bawling for the alcohol. They saw Germany and Italy "rescued" out of the viagra room... Damn, the viagra didn't even bother working well! The group, who knew that this was going to happen, ran out the back door and into Antonio's house, leaving the others to be punished.

"What are we going to do now" Antonio inquired, "The cameras will be found!"

Elizaveta smiled, "The cameras were put on to self-destruct mode when the subject they were filming goes away. The footage will be recorded. I knew this was going to happen. A great lemon-crazy girl like me HAS to come prepared." With a flick of her brown hair, she dismissed the others. "I also tested the chocolates. Whoever eats it will forget about everyone else who was there at America's house for Halloween. Francis was smart and ate the things so he wouldn't get caught for lying and wouldn't ruin our plan."

Romano frowned, but he knew it was true. Arthur had the camera, secretly tucked inside his wand (it's amazing what magic can do). He was going to tell it to a special someone... Lovi smiled a Mafia-styled smile. The revenge was almost complete.

And nothing will stop him.


	8. Because Flying Mint Bunny is smart

Arthur tiredly dragged himself into his bland house. There were soda spills, broken china, beer bottles, and maybe blood... He really needed to clean up this stuff.

As he went to get a broom, his brain registered the past events and brought up the emotion of pure appreciation and thankfulness.

Flashback: _Francis threw him a scone. A scone? Slightly hesitantly, Arthur poked it. Seemingly enough, it felt like his own scones. So, without bothering, he took a bite._

_ BLACKOUT_

"_SIT UP!" Vash barked out the command. Though he was quite woozy, Artie managed to sit up and stop whining for drinks. For a few seconds, at least. His memory was back, at least for good. But, he couldn't remember what happened for the last couple minutes. And by looks, Francis didn't remember either. Suddenly noticing himself with NORMAL clothes instead of the costume he wore and sitting right next to the FROG, he muttered a curse. And summoned his friend Flying Mint Bunny. Who was scared off by the next blaring noise._

"_Arthur," Vash growled, "What the hell happened in that room?!"_

_The ginger-haired nation had no idea. Literally, he blacked out. He managed to gasp out, "Well, I don't know... I suppose you would be able to see from how the situation is now."_

_The other nation looked around. He muttered something and stated simply, "It seems some of our fellow nations are missing." _

_A confused Feli suddenly seemed to notice something, "Ve~, fratello's gone! And big brothers Gilbert and Antonio too!"_

_Rodereich and Kiku wore embarrassed expressions. "My wife escaped with them," the Chopin worshipper muttered._

"_I think Elizaveta took my computer," Kiku said calmly but with a note of shame, for he had done this this a million times already, "And filmed us. For blackmail, I believe. Or for her manga business."_

_All the nations, hearing this, were ready to kill. However, the Swiss man spoke sternly, "I believe we should handle these matters during the upcoming World Conference in my country. Everyone should leave the house, with the exception of Alfred, and return home right away. Avoid alcohol and sweets."_

_The nations nodded and slowly walked off. Some were still laughing and jesting, but they were quickly cut off by Vash's glare of doom. Francis decided to grope the English man, despite his terribly aching head and an unnatural sleepy feeling, and so he was quickly punched in the face and received a string of curses. Then, the ginger-blonde stalked up to the Swiss man and asked, "Hello, Vash. I have a few questions. First off, what the bloody hell was I doing with that frog? How the hell did I come out of that blackout? Why in the world did you even come here?"_

_Vash glared at the man. He gruffly spoke, "You were stuck in a room with him and were having a drinking contest. You should expect a hangover. That blackout was caused by chocolates. Apparently, the chocolates have been drugged with wine high in alcohol. You bastards were lucky that I came and snapped you guys out of your silly dancing. Bella called me because of that bastard Alfred who idiotically insulted our European chocolates. I was almost going to shoot him. I should have. He's lucky that I was forgiving. Go back home now, or I will snipe you personally."_

_Arthur didn't need to be told twice, he dragged himself out of the room, away from the trigger-happy nation, and into his own house, where he found a mess._

Thank the lord that he didn't get sniped and beat up by him, Artie nearly cried with joy at that thought. Yours truly 's brain was not working properly. Definitely not working properly. So, he picked up the trash, through it into the nearest bin, and yelled for Flying Mint Bunny, who was holding his life-saving (or not) wand.

"Little friend," the broken man mumbled, "I wish that I could use my magic to clean this bloody house up. Here, call Miss Fairy and the others to come clean this mess up, while I search for my ancient spell book." At the sound of that, the clever imaginary (or not) bunny knocked him out flat with a beer bottle and called for all his other friends. They lifted the unconscious nation up into his bed and went downstairs to clean the things up for Arthur (those guys are sweet, aren't they?)

Next Morning

"Bloody hell!" Arthur jolted himself awake. He dreamed that his delicious food, especially his scones tasted like charcoal! Plus, Alfred and Francis were mocking him! Thankfully, that was just a dream and it wasn't true. Oh how wrong Arthur could be. How wrong.

As life went on, he found out that his friends (THANK YOU SO MUCH FLYING MINT BUNNY! Here, let me make you some scones) cleaned up everything. He thanked them profoundly and offered them some scones, which they politely refused.

Oh dammit! His head started hurting. Great, he had mountains of paperwork to do and he had a hangover. A bloody hangover! He searched for a hot pack and warm tea while he sat down to finish his documents. The hot pack melted and the tea became burnt. The day was heading in the wrong direction. Grabbing his wand, which was lying on the table, out in the open (a mistake on your part, Flying Mint Bunny), Arthur stormed into his room, slammed the door shut.

Rustling through the papers, sloppily finishing whatever he had to do, his headache got worse and worse. He felt excessively drowsy. Arthur's mood had no chance of improving. Cursing loudly, he grabbed his wand and yelled, "F*** THIS BLOODY PAPERWORK! MAGIC WILL CERTAINLY SOLVE EVERYTHING!" He started waving his wand around and spat out a spell, "Fudgeckus Shitemitus Alfredimes Sesxiest Thanusa Franciscus-" he was suddenly interrupted by a loud RING RING RING! Shizz, the spell wasn't even finished! That is not good! At that moment, the camera just HAD to fall out of his pocket (Francis, that clever bastard!) and yes, a light exploded out of the star and zoomed right toward the black object. A flash of light filled the room, and the camera disappeared. Somewhere outside of the room, Flying Mint Bunny said, "Oh bunny snaps! That means Arthur used magic! And he messed up! Quick guys, we need to figure out what is wrong and get it solved before it is too late, like the time he turned everyone into girls and chibis (referring to It's Raining Women and It's a Small World After All by Bri Nara {Double parentheses! Kinda like posting an ad, but whatever})!"

Arthur picked up the phone, barking, "This is Kirkland, ARTHUR KIRKLAND!"

The other person at the other end was, oh gosh, the one and only obnoxious Alfred.

"ALFRED! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU CALLING ABOUT?! I AM JUST READY TO KILL YOU! YES, JUST YOU WAIT. YOU WILL BE INCINERATED-"

"Dude, chillax," Alfred tried desperately to calm Arthur down, "Iggy, um (shoot, I said Iggy!) your, uh, scones taste great..."

Alfred could hear the smugness radiating over the phoneline. He appeared to have calmed down quite a bit, "Why, of course. So why did you call me?"

"I kinda want to ask you this thing I have trouble with. It is this stupid old English textbook that my boss is making me review. It sucks balls to have to do this crap, and, well, I need a translator. So can you come over, like, in an hour, Iggy?"

Arthur shot right back, "See, I told you that studying Old English was useful, you git! Why couldn't you just have listened to me back then. You were such an annoying child, Alfred! And of course, it was that bloody frog's fault! I can't believe that he, your bastard father, actually PERSUADED me to stop teaching you those useful things. Francis, you will die you-"

"So, are you coming or not?"

"No, never. It was your and the frog's fault for not listening to me. You'll have to handle it on your own."

"Please, Iggy? PLEASE?"

Arthur groaned. Not again. He hated being exposed to pleas and cute googly eyes, and unfortunately, Alfred had the ability to project his cuteness everywhere, anytime. The pleas were sooo adorable. Must. Resist. Do. Not. Fall. For. Cuteness... Oh dammit!

Arthur sighed. He knew he was a goner. "Fine, just this once, you bloody bastard!" With a unsatisfied smash, he hung up and went downstairs to find Flying Mint Bunny to ask for advice. He didn't even notice the camera missing and his wand fizzling. Yet.


	9. When shiz turns real

This is the climax!

* * *

Arthur rushed into the room at lightning speed. "ALFRED! GET OVER HERE YOU BLOODY BASTARD!"

The other blonde nation sauntered in with a big obnoxious smile on his face. "Hey, Iggy! Dude, I totally need some help with this thingy-majig." He pushed the steaming older nation into his room.

"DON'T PUSH ME WHEREVER, YOU BASTARD!"

Alfred chose to ignore his annoying lectures and quickly came to his point. "So..." he opened a window on his PC, "...This is the random language I am supposed to decipher. Apparently, a representative from the House of Representatives found this text thingy under his bed. My boss, not knowing who else to ask, decided that I knew Old English because I lived for a bazillion years /YOU ONLY LIVED FOR-/ and so, you're my translator."

"You ignorant bastard! I can't believe I actually let Francis be your father. The pervert taught you good-for-nothing flaws and much, much worse. French is not even as important as English. I can't believe I had children with him! If he was the single parent, who would know how you would turn out-flawed? Senseless? A pervert like him? You and Matthew are lucky that I actually taught you something and stayed with the frog to take care of you nations! At least I'm not like Antonio, who raised the even more annoying Lovino. Did you know the other day that he was planning to BLACKMAIL Ludwig? That bastard is so bloody selfish-"

Alfred's eyes widened. "Did you just say blackmail? Dude, I got to know this-" He was interrupted by a ring, reminding him that mail was sent to him. He grasped the mouse and immediately opened the mail. The sender was... MagicAmazingFrogxAngleterre ? The heck. The nations' face were illuminated with confusion. Alfred turned to Arthur.

"Dude, that is SERIOUSLY your email? It sounds like crap."

Arthur shook his head in confusion. "Maybe it is a prank from the frog or Emil. But, the sender's email address sounds so familiar, however, I can't quite put my finger on it..."

He trailed off when he saw the email's contents. Suddenly, everything hit him like the time where a frying pan aimed at Gilbert missed him and hit the unfortunate Brit behind the albino. Arthur stared for a while and quietly said, "My God, those pictures are the pictures that Lovino is going to use to blackmail Ludwig. The email address is the one sent from my wand. Those pictures are from Lovino's camera that Francis slipped inside my pocket (so that is what the heavy thing in my pocket was... moment of genius to me!)"

Alfred's jaw dropped. He looked pale, as pale as Matthew when the frog told him about how babies were born. His blue eyes grew smaller and smaller. Suddenly, a big laugh exploded from the depths of his throat. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT STUFF IS AWESOME FOR BLACKMAIL! WELL DONE LOVINO! YEAH, GO MAFIA BASTARD! HAHAHAHAHAHA! After that, he gasped out from the midst of his own laughing while crying, "Ludwig... Cake... Apron... Book about dogs... Pervy... Awesome...". The other nation suddenly remembered the night when Francis fed him information. He actually accepted it, with out going crazy. Or as crazy as he would have been if he was sober. Arthur gasped and mumbled. I better be going now, he thought, before I actually have to translate those texts and suffer through his stupidity and... Bad thoughts invaded his mind. Artie's face suddenly went pale. The thought of those hamburgers were making him sick already.

No later than said, he grabbed his suitcase and fled.

Meanwhile, with the badass Mafia bastard...

Lovino, who stood outside of America's room, smiled with pure malice. The plan was going perfectly. Exactly how he wanted it to be. His Mafia side never failed to think up a perfect plan. At the very end, he will get his revenge. Lovino was certain about it.

He looked inside the house and smiled. Alfred was chasing the English bastard around. Trying to escape was never easy, especially from the obnoxious, annoyingly strong, and self-proclaimed hero nation. But now was not the time to amuse himself with such everyday scenes. He had a bigger goal to accomplish.

Quickly but quietly, he crept into the trashy room, namely Alfred's. Lovino found the camera that magically "appeared" right above the computer, took it, and planted a special virus AND the video footage from the bombed Halloween party (GERITA FLUFF MOMENT THANKS TO VIAGRA!) into the computer. And he jumped out of the room, badass-anime style, and fled for his life to whichever Antonio was nearby.

The blackmail part was already complete. Now the threat or bribe. Either works, but calling it a threat would be more accurate. Lovi wrote a letter, neat and tidy, to Ludwig. When he gets the letter, he will break down. For sure. He was doing all of this. Yes, Lovino was doing all of this to save Feli from the potato bastard and make sure they NEVER get back together. No GerIta. Ever again. He cackled at the idea, spooking the nearby Antonio, who was planning a Spamano attack. He quietly ran to the potato bastard's house, picked the lock, and slipped the letter into... his pile of dirty books. Then he sped away, laughing like a maniac. Ludwig just can't win, can't he?

The neat and tidy blonde nation stalked back into the house. Immediately he knew something was wrong. Dreadfully wrong. Why was the door slightly open? His dogs weren't here to greet him. Ludwig slowly pulled out his gun and checked every room, every closet, every closed container of some sort, and all the random places you can imagine. The house was clear. But, why would an intruder come in and not have anything stolen. There must be another purpose...

The nation's eyes widened. He rushed to the refrigerator and found that the pink cake was intact. The apron was fine and untouched. He scrambled up the stairs and found that in the pile of dirty books was a letter. Slowly and unsteadily, Ludwig opened the piece of paper. It read:

_Dear Potato Bastard,_

_ AHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are now doomed. And you know why. Even a dumbass like you should. Anyway, I caught footage and pictures of you and your F***ing dirty books. I must say, potato bastard, you are annoying, perverted, and are a ya** fangirl like Elizaveta. Keep your hands away from my stupid little brother a**hole!_

_ Now, being the generous badass nation I am, I will offer you a choice. The World Conference is coming up and I put a ya** video and pictures into Alfred's computer. He would obviously, like the idiot he is, take the news shared from place to place (it's amazing how those b****es didn't mess up, but then the amazing me is must awesome that way) and show it to the rest of the world. I have a special remote to delete the evidence of your gayness. If you don't want to be eternally humiliated, you will promise not to EVER touch or make contact with Feliciano. You will not talk to him, look at him, sit next to him, be in a circle with a 10 feet radius around him, and blablabla... I could list a sh**load of this stuff. Plus, you have to call me Your Awesome Highness and be my servant. Everywhere. In exchange, I will delete everything that you, potato bastard, have been seen doing. If you do want to be eternally humiliated, defy me and the generous offer above. Expect the end of your life flashing before your life. Seriously. Now you f***ing bastard, choose. If you want your life._

_You know who wrote this. Potato bastard._

Ludwig paled. Choose. Choose. Should I be humiliated because I love Feli, or should I be serving the tomato bastard. And I never called Lovi a tomato bastard. This is a first. I love Feli; I would do anything for him. He is so sweet and kind, but he is an airhead. Should I choose life over love, like many books say? Or should I serve Lovi and ruin Feli forever. It would satisfy Lovi, but how will it rip Feli apart. Oh, I would never let Feli be ripped apart ever again. Not like WWII. Never

After a moment of silence, he made up his mind. This is what he will do. And he won't regret it.

* * *

**I have a question to propose to all you readers who generously spend the time to read this stuff. Germany is going to make a decision that will change his life (at least in this fanfic) forever. Should he choose love over life? Or should he serve Mafia Romano? Please review or pm me. In the end I will tally up the votes and that is the way the rest of the fanfic will go. Thanks for the reviews, favs, and follows! All votes are due 11/24/12.**

**Cassie**


	10. Ludwig aint stupid, dudes

Lovino could not believe it. It was by no means possible. He gaped at the letter. His hands shook with a barely concealed emotion. His dark brown eyes widened considerably. How did this happen? Did he really do this?

_No._

That single word cause the rage inside his head to snap. He cursed at the sky and ripped the letter into a million pieces. The fragments fluttered in the air and floated onto a very familiar object. The Italian glared at it, but his expression morphed into something more dangerous. Pure fury and hunger for revenge. He radiated a dangerous aura, strikingly similar to Ivan's when he becomes irritated. He grabbed the object and held it in his hands. He shakily reached out his finger.

_Click._

_Click. _The sound echoed across the whole room. The noise escaped Lovi's house and echoed across Europe and America. Germany, reading his book, heard it and almost choked. Paling slightly, he knew his doom. Tomorrow, he will have to suffer the consequences. The button that was pressed was on his remote. The click signaled the virus deactivation. The virus was supposed to erase the footage and photos on Alfred's computer. A switch on the remote would have activated the virus from its dormant state. Now the virus was erased permanently. And the doom was inevitable.

Just at this moment, Antonio strolled inside the house with a basket of tomatoes, hidden for a good reason. "Hola my little tomato," he sang out, "So, how did the plan go? Are his secrets going to be exposed to the world? Is he going to suffer eternal shame?"

Lovi inwardly rolled his eyes. How clueless could he get? It was a dead end for the potato. Either way, he would suffer shame and embarrassment, to say the least. If he was Lovi's personal servant, the awesome Mafia dude would be known as the winner and the potato bastard would have accepted defeat, which was something that Lovi aimed for for so long. That also an effective way to lodge the clueless brother/bastard and his "friend"/potato bastard apart. Then, his lucky brother would be safe from contamination forever! However, by saying no, Ludwig's secrets will be spilled out, but he will receive that stupid "love over life/sanity" heroic recognition. It actually wasn't as bad, but Lovi made it sound worse. Damn, the f***ing potato bastard was smart!

"Tomato bastard, why the f*** would I tell you?" Lovino tried to mask his evil happiness/anger (now you're thinking WTF), but you could still recognize the dark aura surrounding him. Antonio had experienced this sort of anger, and he knew just what to do. He slipped the basket of tomatoes out of his jacket and held it teasingly at Romano. "Roma-chan, here are some delicious tomatoes, but you must tell me-" he stopped mid-way, realizing that Lovi was already digging through the tomatoes. Quickly, Antonio took the rest of the tomatoes and held it up high in the middle of space.

Lovino growled, but just to humor the clueless Spaniard, he replied, "Fine, tomato bastard!"

As he was munching on the tomatoes happily, Lovino explained, "Yes, the secrets are going to be exposed. The da** bastard decided to be stupid (although he knew it wasn't true) and said NO! And yes, there will be eternal shame. Is that good enough, bastard? (Wow! Two sentences without swearing!)"

The Spaniard smiled a clueless smile and strolled away, "Gracias, amigo! And the pleasure's all mine!"

Lovino grumbled. This was supposed to be a secret until the world meeting. And Feliciano must not find out about this-

"Ve~" a familiar cheery noise disrupted the 3-second silence. "Hello fratello! I'm just dropping by to make some pasta! Ve~, do you want some too?"

The other Italian snorted, "Well no sh**."

The clueless Italian seemed to have noticed something. Fratello seemed to be more thoughtful than normal. Plus, there was a strange aura around him, noticeably dark like Ivan's. Instead of cowering, Feliciano decided to ask a question, because after all, brotherhood is powerful, right? "Ve~, fratello, you seem sort of mad today. Is something wrong?"

The other nation swore inwardly. Sh** he noticed his unruly mood today. That means he might find out about the plans for the World Conference before it even starts! Da**, Lovino has to get Feliciano out of the house before he manages to persuade (do not underestimate tears and puppy-dog eyes, my friends) his fratello. Like the (kind of) tsundere nation he was, Lovi pushed Feli out of the house and said, "I'm not in the f***ing mood to talk. Ask me at the da** conference, da**it!" And shut the door in his face.

Feli, now thoroughly confused, started tearing up. Why was fratello being so moody? Besides, he was only going to make pasta, and big brother NEVER ignores pasta! It hurt, those last few words. It hurt his heart. Feli could only sigh inwardly as he walked away, back to his house. His plans were ruined. Maybe I should go to Ludwig's house, Feliciano thought, But... I have to many papers to finish... never mind. With a sniffle, the lonely nation gingerly sat down at his desk with some pasta (made in no time at all: MAGICAL!) and tried his best to finish the work before him.

Ludwig was horrified. Doom was coming his way, whether he liked it or not (what kind of phrase is that? No one likes doom!), and he could not do anything. The blonde nation paced back and forth, back and forth. His eyes, usually crystal blue, were now a dull and stormy shade of gray with light navy tints. His mind was reeling, thoughts flashing back and forth at a thousand miles per hour. His face was contorted into a grimace. Ludwig's back was also bent, showing part of his war-weary and defeated side. After a long moment of silence, he decided to head upstairs and write down a battle plan, or whatever procedure he decided to make. As he walked upstairs, images of a smiling Feliciano, a blushing Feliciano, pink, home-made aprons, cute cakes, dirty pictures/books from Hungary, the BTT, Lovino, Hungary herself, chocolates, and that camera flashed through his head. And suddenly, it came to him. The perfect idea. The perfect way to prove his courage and independence.

In many romance stories, when the couple come across a large obstacle, the man is willing to sacrifice everything for the woman (or b**** of the relationship, whatever you prefer to call it). And that kind of will is what makes the man a hero. Though it is very embarrassing, it proves so many things. That was the main reason why Ludwig said no to Lovino, though Ludwig didn't even recognize it as a reason, more like a gut instinct. At that moment, Ludwig calculated everything, and a grim smile came to his face. Now all he had to do was to wait until the conference and hope that the nations act the way he expects them to.

The blonde nation went back downstairs to finish the pink cake. All that was left to make was the red and pink hearts and the pasta made of frosting.

The BBT were at their favorite place, the bar. They were already drunk. Gilbert was laughing his arse off, screaming about Birdie, and currently having a strip contest with Francis. Francis was winning, but he was even more drunk. Stripping and trying to make out with an also drunk hot lady wasn't even enough. Spain, on the other hand, was hiccuping while gambling a gang, and was currently winning. The gang also seemed to "like" him, so they gave him free "drinks" (cyanide, much?) and were currently wondering why he wasn't dying. After what seemed like 2 minutes (3 hours), the group joined back together and actually started legitimately talking.

"Soooooooooooo Antooooniioooo..." the Prussian drawled, "Whaaaat diiid Romaaaaaaaano ssaaaay?"

Antonio hiccuped madly and giggled. In the midst of his drunken laughter he gasped out, "Luuuuuudwig chooooose Feeeeeeeeli ooooooover-"

Antonio was suddenly cut off by the mad perverse laughter. "OHONHONHONHONHONHONHONHONHON HONHONHON...(continues for a couple more minutes)! It seeeeeeeeems liiiike zeeeeeee liiiiiiiitle Hoooooooly Rooooooooman Empiiiiiiire haaaas groooooown tooooooooo bee aaa heerooooooooooooiiiiic looooooooooooover! OHONHONHONHONHONHONHONHON... (another five hours, I mean minutes)!"

Gilbert was cackling madly too, "KESESESESESESESESESESE! Weeeeeeeeeeeest haaaaaas truuuuuly tooooooook hiiiiiiiiiiis booooooooooks' (you know which books) #insert mad laughing# adviiiiiiiiiiiiice!"

The trio laughed for a couple of hours, predicting the events during tomorrow's World Conference in America, drinking, playing strip poker, flirting, and a lot more things better left unsaid, unless you are a hardcore lemon-loving fangirl and are willing to write something similar. At dawn, they dragged themselves home in rags-Antonio to Lovino, Francis to Arthur, and Gilbert to Matthew. With hangovers.

Speaking of Arthur, he has successfully ran away from Alfred and ignored all calls to the house, even the ones from his boss.

Alfred groaned. He was trying to find Arthur, but the dude ran away before he could even be ASKED to decipher this random crap. Grabbing a random hamburger (he seems to have a nice supply in his house), Alfred headed back to his room and looked at his computer. And then he remembered. A large, obnoxious, but devious grin came to his face as he thought up (for once!) a big announcement for the World Conference in his capitol. After all, he had to show everyone his pictures. It was inevitable.

Elizaveta, who obviously knew the whole thing, was giddy with the I LOVE LEMON look in her eyes. She raced around Roderiech's house, grabbing a camera, recorder, button cameras, technically her whole LEMON kit (ya** for you!)

It was dawn already. Ludwig glared at the clock with defeat and annoyance. Romano shot eye-lasers at the clock, willing it to go quicker. Feliciano barely even glanced at the clock; he was still sleeping with happy dreams about pasta. Antonio was still wailing, but caught the time and smiled with a hint of knowing. Matthew heaved Gilbert up and started to quietly scold him about coming to random people's houses at dawn. Francis, currently attempting to find Arthur (in his magic room, HOPEFULLY not conjuring a spell to make Alfred disappear), saw the cuckoo clock made by Ludwig (mentioned in the first few episodes of Hetalia- Axis Powers)and started laughing his perverse laugh, which made Arthur run toward the pervert and kick him hard in the ballsack.

The clock ticks. Time is running out. The World Conference is almost here. And that means revenge. Dangerous, dark revenge.


	11. The Irreplaceable Silence

Alfred was early. Very early. It surprised everyone, for the nation was known to be late by twenty minutes or even absent. Even at his own home.

The sun shone brightly in Washington DC. The streets were as crowded as ever, filled with tourists on tour guides, government officials, and what not. The clear blue sky reflected off of Alfred's wide eyes. They usually shown with the innocence of a child, not like Ivan, but this time, you could see the fire and some strange darkness imbedded deep within his soul. Those who came in early to the room could not see it, for Texas reflected a strange glare, acting like blinds to windows. Windows to the soul.

The sun was to bright. The cheerfulness to artificial. The trees and plants too green. Ludwig breathed in and out. He knew this feeling of deception. And almost suddenly, he was sure that Alfred was planning something. His mood was usually reflected by the capitol city Washington DC, and the sweetness of the place was too sweet; something bad was behind all of this, just like Ivan. Ludwig slowly made his ascent toward the hidden conference room. Every step echoed with dread. His time was coming. So close. So cold.

However, for others, it was perfect. The feeling in the city, the conference time, everything! Romano laughed inwardly, though his face was contorted into an evil smile which radiated pure Ivan aura. He grabbed his bag and dragged his little brother toward the building quickly. His dear fratello can't miss a single second of the potato's misery. Lovino quietly laughed an evil laugh (he really should have his own laugh) as he practically raced up the stairs and opened the doors. A wave of air rushed toward his face as he saw the arena of battle.

Perfect.

Alfred was sitting at the very end, typing something furiously in his laptop with an almost-empty mug of cold hot chocolate at his side. His normal pile of burgers was instead filled with the equal amount of burger wrappers. It seems that he was sitting at the table long enough to be considered early. Texas (the glasses) projected a glare, so they couldn't see into Alfred's eyes. But some nations could sense a particularly strange aura around the man. An aura like the time where the brothers went on a canoe down Niagara Falls. Strange equipment was laid down around the host nation. A camera? Video recorders? Hmmmm...

The rest of the nations were making their way to their seats. Poland was babbling to Lithuania like usual. The BTT were flirting again, only this time they held a mysterious look on their faces. As usual, Arthur and Matthew were hitting the nations, and yes, Antonio squealed when he saw Lovi walk in.

Lovi shot a death glare at Antonio to shut him up. The elder nation whimpered a little and sat down moping. Feliciano, looking clueless as ever, took a seat next to Lovino. However, he still felt confused at his brother's funny attitude. Why was he so mad? He seemed to be less cheerful lately, but more devious instead. These worries were almost enough to make Feliciano start crying. At this moment, a certain blond nation walked in, head hung low with stormy, blue eyes. His expression was pained and filled with guilt, embarrassment, and regret. As he walked passed Lovi, the Italian shot him a evil smirk. The other nation glared at him slightly before sighing and making his way next to Roderiech, who was lecturing Gilbert with Matthew. Alfred, seeing that everyone has settled down, stood up. His figure looked tall and imposing, unlike the normal Alfred F. Jones everyone knew. The glare from the glasses settled down a little, enough to show his piercing sky blue eyes that swept across the room. Some nations looked at him with a strange look, clearly confused. This nation was not the nation they knew. What could have possibly happened?

Certain nations smiled a knowing smile. Alfred glanced at them to confirm the inevitable. Lovino struggled to hold back a laugh. Ludwig looked even more pained. The tall figure spoke.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the annual World Conference. This year we will discuss various topics involving global warming, the current war going on right now, world hunger, and another special issue. Without further ado, let us begin."

Some nations, particularly the FACE family, looked on in shock. Nobody knew this side of Alfred except for those in war against him. This was Alfred's cold and calculated side. The side shown to Ivan during the Cold War. He had a foolproof plan. And nobody could stop him.

"As your host, I will go first. Today, I want to discuss this special topic I mentioned. This topic involves... us personifications in particular." Alfred aimed the remote at a blank wall, and suddenly, a slide from a slide show appeared.

A LONG LOST FACT NEVER PROVEN

UNTIL NOW:

A NATION THAT WAS UNDERESTIMATED

HAS A TRUTH TO BE REVEALED

The nation smiled, "A long lost fact that was never proven until now: A nation that was underestimated has a truth to be revealed. These lines refer to a personification, not the nation. A particular nation. An once-powerful nation." Alfred paced back and forth slowly. He had a cold smile on, his bright eyes piercing that nation for a second. A second only.

Lovino's aura grew, almost engulfing Feliciano, who had the mind to scoot away. A thin smile formed on his lips. The nation almost looked... hungry. Other involved nations looked somewhat similar, except for Antonio, who was just smiling cluelessly, and England, who started frowning at the American.

"The personification was involved in wars. Plenty of wars, mind you. In his forgotten childhood, he met another child nation; weak but loving. He found himself in love with the other. The personification never admitted his love, until a faithful day, when they were separated. Forever."

The American looked around the room. It was dead silent now. Nations were troubled and confused. Other nations looked at the host approvingly, especially Lovino, who flashed a thumbs up. Ludwig, however, looked ashen, pale but confused. He had forgotten it. All of it.

"One nation stayed in his temporary home. The other was led into battle. And was demolished." Alfred paused, letting the other nations absorb the information.

Somehow, not being spooked out enough by the host's cold demeanor, Denmark piped up, "But how the heck does this even relate to whatever is happening today? Just sit down and stop telling us a 'spooky story' already. You're wasting time." Iceland flashed him a look of warning. Other nations also looked at him nervously. Alfred turned toward him. His lips stretched into a thin, icy smile and answered coolly, "Good question, Denmark. I was just leading to that. Please be quite and listen to my announcement." Denmark, sensing that that was a threat, immediately sat up straight and closed his mouth.

The host nation turned around, "As I was saying, one was left back home and one was demolished. However, another fellow nation came and revived the almost-completely-demolished nation from the jaws of death. The revived nation changed his name and demeanor, completely forgot the past. The child nation left at home also grew up. The child nation, however, did not forget the past. The two were even further apart; the grown up child nation waiting and waiting for the other. The revived nation, however, took his fellow nation and merged with it. Both nations suffered through long wars and recently, they met each other in a dangerous international war. The two did not know each other, but became good friends. As time passed, they became more in love. The grown up child nation; he didn't know that the revived nation was his old lover, but the revived nation looked very similar. The other, however, did not know at all. Today, they are among us. They won't admit it, but they are very much noticeable. An odd couple, really."

It took three minutes for the shock to be absorbed. One of the nations were a boy. The met in the past. Just like a love story. But, which nation was which? Most of the nations had a confused expression on, except for certain people. Certain people.

Lovino's aura had darkened and expanded largely. He could not conceal his laughter anymore. The BTT were trying hard not to shout out the answer. Elizaveta was video taping this from an implanted video camera while saving this onto a hard drive on her secure mini-computer/watch while barely concealing her excitement.

Ludwig started to understand now. This past was forgotten. His face was contorted with even more regret as he rested his head on the table. I'm doomed, he thought, I can't pull this off. I'm doomed. The strong, bold nation has given up.

Feliciano sensed something was familiar. Separated from each other? In love? Children? This sounded like his past. As he tried to put his thoughts together, there was an interruption.

Alfred stood imposed. A flicker of regret crossed his face as he announced, "Let me connect the dots for you. The child nation is Feliciano. The demolished nation is the Holy Roman Empire, who was revived by Gilbert, and changed into Ludwig. The war was WWII and the couple we have is Ludwig and Feliciano."

The silence afterward was irreplacable.


	12. Feliciano can be evil! Hurray!

_Thanks to all who waited patiently for this chapter. Thanks to everyone who bothered reading the story and my other writings. Thanks to all who reviewed/faved/folllowed. _

_-Cassie_

* * *

Then it came.

The yells. The shouts. The protests. The gasps of horror. All the chaos that comes at the climax of the story.

Ludwig's face fell flat onto the table. He stayed there, motionless and colorless, as if to prove such deep, dark emotions. His body was positioned in such a powerful way that he seemed desperate, like a frozen moment in time shown on most paintings and sculptures. Feliciano stared at him as if it was a masterpiece that should be painted. Then, he slowly noticed that someone else was staring at him too. The nations' eyes were wide, almost accusing the two with their glares. Alfred stood at the end of the table, looking tall and powerful. He was just about to press a button, quickly changing the slide to the next step into the deep, murky realm called guilt. What scared Feli the most was his dear brother, Lovino. He looked dark and malicious, and he hasn't ever been like this for the last 100 years or more. And slowly, the broken pieces of the mystery fit together.

"_Fratello was blackmailing Ludwig with the help of big brothers Antonio, Francis, Gilbert, and many more people, including Alfred. Ludwig was given choices. He chose something, and it ended in this."_

Feli stared at his hands, which started trembling with inner fury. How could Lovino have done this? I know that he dislikes Ludwig, but why would he go to such lengths to separate us? Doesn't he know that we are in love? Wait, he does. But why? Why? Why would he do this? Does he think that we are an imperfect couple? Fratello, I'll show you-

"And to continue" a dark, cold voice erupted from the midst of the chaos. Alfred pointed to the slide, and immediately, everyone became quiet.

"Oh no."

Feliciano gasped with surprise.

All of the pictures taken were displayed on multiple screens. Ludwig in that pink, frilly apron. The cake. The books. A recording of the FUN song that he was singing. And worst of all.

All eyes were glued to a single screen. In one of Alfred's many rooms in his house. Tied up. Chocolate smeared face. Sweating in adorable costumes. The GerIta moment of love. Chibi Italy and HRE. The footage was replayed again and again.

Elizaveta squealed with delight. Roderiech was glaring daggers at Ludwig, who was passed out on the table. Feliciano stared in utter shock. Kiku was quickly writing notes down for a new manga and seemed to not be surprised (Heck, he was always with Ludwig and Feli, so obviously he would know). Ivan's aura was starting to swallow Lithuania, who was shivering and currently in shock. Vash was blindfolding Lili and was fishing for a gun to shoot at everyone with. The BTT were laughing with delight! Everything was going perfectly. Gilbird was chirping around with Pierre with mini-cameras in their head, taking a video of the conference. And Lovi.

Lovi.

Lovino erupted into a hearty laughter. His evil laugh echoed across the room and immediately hushed the crowd. His aura nearly swallowed Ivan, who scooted as far away as he could. Alfred was not fazed. Instead, he started laughing too. A dark, evil laughter. A Cold War laugh able to make Ivan squeal like a girl. Gilbert joined in, along with Francis' pervy laugh. Feli glared at his brother. He shakily stood up with tears in his eyes.

And suddenly, before Feli's own eyes, Lovino pulled the passed out German by the collar out of his chair and threw him to the floor. Lovino smirked, "Potato bastard, I have won again. You deserve to die idiot. But maybe, if you were my slave, I will probably forgive you." The Italian narrowed his eyes. And he picked up Ludwig and punched him in his face. Ludwig's face was full of surprise, slight hurt, and lots of remorse. Which encouraged the other nation to take out a knife. He raised it and aimed it right at the German's heart. The knife fell down.

Down.

Down.

Something inside Feli exploded. His face, usually full of happiness, changed into a deep frown. His aura intensified quickly, turning a dark blood red. Immediately, he smacked his brother in the face with such power that he flew across the room. Feliciano caught the knife with his fingers and took Ludwig, princess-style, and held him in between his arms. The crowd looked on incredulously. Vash grunted in slight approval. Kiku looked up and paled slightly, "Itaria-san, what-what... and out of all things, WWII mode..."

All nations stared at the Axis. WWII mode, huh? Feliciano was very brutal during WWII. He captured Elizaveta and technically wreaked havoc everywhere. Some nations shrank away. They did NOT want to get hurt and experience the pain again.

The Italian looked powerful and cold as he stood boldly near Ludwig. Carefully, Feli put his semi-unconscious friend into a seat. He took large strides toward the other fallen Italian.

"Fratello-please tell me."

Lovi scrambled to get up, his eyes mocking at him, "Tell you what?"

Feli's face darkened. His voice grew slightly louder as he spoke, "Why are you doing this? Tell me. TELL ME RIGHT NOW."

"No."

Feliciano punched Lovino in the stomach, sending him flying toward the wall. Luckily, he landed on a frightened Antonio, Francis, and Gilbert. As he sat up, he groaned, "Tomato idiot, I'm the older one here. And you will not do that again."

The other looked unfazed. He stared into Lovi's eyes saying, "Why are you hurting my friend? You know that we have a strong friendship. I know that you hate him. But why? Why are you going to such lengths to destroy his will?"

The other Italian, starting tremble a little bit, retorted, "It's none of your business, fratellino. Don't meddle-"

He cried, "IF IT HAS TO DO WITH YOU AND LUDWIG, IT IS MY BUSINESS!"

Lovino started backing away, which made Feli advance forward.

"I still don't understand. Why do you hate Ludwig so much? He's a great guy. He knows how to tie shoelaces and gets me out of trouble. He is my best friend. Probably more than you ever will be. What part of him is the part that you hate? Are potatoes really that bad? Don't call him potato bastard-potatoes are great! "

Lovino started, "Potatoes taste like shi-"

"NO THEY DON'T! But you are jealous, aren't you? You're jealous that I have a friend and you are just sulking away in a corner. You just want to separate me from my only friend so that I will become just like you. So, you blackmailed him. You sneaked into his house to find things to use against him. You set up some nations you knew so that the news would pass to Alfred. You sent him everything and you knew that he had to show it to the world. But, the footage came with a virus. And you gave Ludwig a chance. And he declined. And this is how it ends out, you sadistic bastard!"

Lovino started to tremble harder. "Don't come near me-"

"Guess what, Ludwig actually LIKED me. He was willing to suffer shame for ME. That is why he declined. He did something for someone else, unlike you. You did it out of plain selfishness. I won't let you win, especially for your idiotic reasons. Love CAN conquer all the odds. And I will prove it."

Lovino paled, "That means you-"

Feliciano grabbed him by the collar. "Yes, you tomato idiot, watch and REMEMBER IT! His voice cracked a little and tears gathered in his eyes. As he spoke, his voice rose higher and louder.

"I have nothing to hide now. I'll say it out loud: I LOVE LUDWIG. I LOVE HIM. I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER. WHY? BECAUSE HE LOVED ME BACK. HE SUFFERED WITH ME. HE HELPED ME. HE GUIDED ME. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. I MUST LOVE HIM BACK. I WILL LOVE HIM BACK. WE WILL LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN ANY OF YOU SISSY NATIONS OUT THERE WILL EVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE. AND NOW I WILL PROVE IT."

At this moment, Ludwig sat up. His eyes shined with a mix of emotions. He whispered in a barely audible voice, "I heard everything. And what Feli said was true. I must say that-"

"Ve~ you don't have to say anything." The happy Feliciano returned with a happy smile as he jumped on the German.

Elizaveta dropped dead. Francis was smiling perversely, "Feli, you have truly learned!" Gilbert started laughing wildly. "KESESESESESE! Bruder, those years of books have payed of!"

Lovino, on the other hand, was gaping with shock. He lowered his head in what must have been defeat.

That kiss.

That kiss was enough to prove everything.

As the two lovebird nations stood up and faced Lovi, Feli declared in a slightly less cold tone that WWII mode, "Fratello, you have seeen it all. Your plan has failed."

And in a kinder, more Feliciano tone, he also added, "But, ve, there are people who love you. For example, me! I like you as much as a inseperable twins do. And there is one more person-"

"MY LITTLE TOMATO, ARE YOU OKAAAAAAAAAAAAY?"

Antonio hurtled himself directly into Lovino. He wrapped Lovino into a bear (not pedo-bear) hug and started crying.

"DIO MIOS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Lovi started blushing furiously. His evil Mafia aura was gone. His eyes were watery as he protested, "GET OFF OF ME TOMATO BASTARD!" Though everyone knew he didn't actually mean it.

Feliciano smiled, and his WWII side was gone. Elizaveta got a video recorder and aimed it straight at the now Spamano couple. Thank God, she thought, that there were still video recorders hidden in the conference room. Courtesy of Alfred.

The other nations started laughing and the room became cheerful and noisy again. Francis was keeping Arthur "busy". Gilbert was harassing Matthew. Alfred's Cold War side diminished when he found a funny letter with a sunflower next to it, asking for a date. Ivan was looking at Alfred in such a way that Natalya was jealous. GerIta was kept at a minimum, at least on camera, while Antonio was still poking fun at Lovino. The day almost seemed normal.

"Bye dudes! Have a fun day! See ya at the next World Conference!" Alfred cheerfully waved away while eating a hamburger found in his jacket with Ivan next to him, radiating as little of an aura as possible.

"Potato bastard, fratellino, can I talk to ya for a sec?"

The two talking nations turned around to see Lovino glaring at them.

"Ve~what for?"

Lovino looked at the ground with a little embarrassment, "Well, thanks brother, the advice was good, I guess. I think the tomato bastard and I could work this out a little, dammit." Feli looked surprised. This was NOT the normal fratello that he was used to.

Lovi also glared at Ludwig, "Potato bastard, don't think this is over. I know you two are like lovebirds, but that doesn't mean that I will never TRULY get my revenge. In the mean time, I can't believe I am saying this, but take good care of my brother. However DON'T YOU DARE CORRUPT HIM WITH YOUR NAZI POWERS. DON'T TURN INTO A COMMIE LIKE IVAN. DON'T YOU EVER DO ANY HARM TO HIM, YOU IDIOT POTATO-SLURPING BASTARD."

Ludwig sighed a little, "Yes, Lovino, I will not do any harm to him."

Feliciano added, "Remember what you heard and saw today, fratello. I know you are still mad, but contain it. Remember, I can hurt you too." Then he smiled a little smile.

Lovi walked away. "I'll be back one day. I will DEFINITELY get revenge on you, potato bastard."

The pair turned around. Both never looked back.

* * *

_I don't know if there will be another chapter. Do you think I should do an epilogue? Please PM or review me, because 1)I never included a prologue 2)the epilogue will end the story better. _


	13. The Excessive Epilogue

This is a forgotten add-on before I published this 'ending'

The excessive-VERY EXCESSIVE-epilogue is just for the fun of it. I was inspired to write this by Angelo (hey, do you have an account? You should get one if you don't). Special thanks to everyone, which doesn't make it very special. Thanks for making my first story ever a success!

Until next time!

-Cassie

* * *

An epilogue...

"LOVI! WAIT UUUUUUUUUP!" The familiar sound of whining echoed across the room.

"DAMMIT BASTARD! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

Antonio grabbed the basket of prepared tomatoes and rushed out the door. The house was a mess. However, the two managed to keep the car clean. Or as clean as it could be.

Lovino yelled at Antonio, "GET OVER HERE TOMATO BASTARD! HOW DO YOU SHOVE THE PASTA INTO THIS DAMN CAR WITHOUT SPILLING WHATEVER THIS CRAP IS?! HURRY IDIOT!"

The car was packed with food, chairs, baskets, emergency pasta, cloth, utensils... whatever you can name. Lovino was cursing as he kicked the things and tried to close the back of the car, which wasn't humanely possible, considering the circumstances (cough coughrandomshizstuffedintoth ebackcough cough).

"La tomate, that's not how you do it." Antonio slowly removed Lovi's hands, which cause the other to blush furiously. Antonio took out the items and arranged them quickly.

"Bastard, you should have told me earlier." Lovino grumbled and looked away, trying to hide his face. The Spaniard smiled and lead Lovino into the car. As he closed the car door, he spoke, "Lovi, it's not good to frown. It ruins your perfect face."

Lovino frowned even furthur, "Damn bastard, don't be so lovey-dovey. And why should you care about my damn face, idiot?

"Lovi, look at me."

"No."

"I have tomatoes!"

Lovi hurled toward his jacket. "Give it!"

Antonio leaned forward and caught the other in midair. And they kissed. A long, savory kiss.

"CHIGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ! DAMNIT TOMATO BASTARD! YOU TRICKED ME YOU F***ING IDIOT! GIVE ME THOSE DAMN TOMATOES!"

Antonio smiled. "Here you go Lovi! And thanks for the kiss!"

Lovino immediately turned away while gobbling the tomatoes, "Your welcome..." he mumbled, his face flushed red.

The other nation smiled his happy, clueless smile. This time with meaning behind it. He knew the Italian enjoyed it.

"And by the way, those are the last of the tomatoes that I have..."

"WHAT?! PRODUCE MORE! AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE TOMATO BASTARD HERE!"

The two kept yelling at each other, occasionally interrupted by a kiss or a hug. The next two hours passed by like minutes. •◘○◙ ►◄↕‼¶§▬↨↑↓→←∟↔▲▼

"LOVIIIIIII! We're there!"

"I know that, bastard!"

The two parked their over-filled car near a big tree, off of the bumpy mountain road. The big tree was among many other similar trees, making a forest. The forest then trailed off into a beach, with pure sun-kissed yellow sand, leading toward a beautiful lake with dark blue, green, and purple waters that could rival Crater Lake and Lake Tahoe combined. They dumped all the things they packed onto the dusty ground and heaved it toward the beach, where a welcoming sight lay before them.

A bench was moved into the sand. Other chairs and tables surrounded it. But that was not the main sight that captured their attention.

The tables were stacked with piles of food. Plates of food. Stacks of food. All the amazing that are available in this puny world we call Earth.

"VE~!"

Lovi quickly dropped his load onto the beach. "Fratellino, don't scare me like that, you idiot!"

Immediately, he was tackled by a very familiar Italian.

"VE~! I'm so happy that you came! I even made some pasta for you! Oh, you made pasta too! We can be PASTA BUDDIES!"

Feliciano ran off screaming PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A along with Lovino being dragged behind him

"Idiot fratellino! DON'T F***ING DRAG ME!"

Antonio looked at the twins and their curls. All of a sudden, his little pervert inside of him woke up and those thoughts came streaming back to him. Curls. Erogenous zone. Tangled. Sweaty, hot bodies. Adorableness. The former caretaker was looking at the curls bounce and occasionally touch each other with joy and he couldn't help but let out a sigh.

"Ohonhonhonhon~ Looks like somebody is interested in l`amour." The perverse laugh snaked its way into Antonio's mind along with the nation himself. Antonio recognized him immediately.

"Francis! So you were invited too!" Antonio found himself clueless and surprised as usual.

"Of course~ ! Who wouldn't invite Big Brother Francis?"

"KESESESESESESESE! The awesomest me is present so this party will be made even more awesome!"

Gilbert ran across the beach with a very annoyed Ludwig behind him, carrying loads of German beer with some pasta that he forgot to take out (Feli never helps him unpack, no matter how down he is, so he has to take out Feli's AND Gilbert's stuff. The poor guy...)

"Ve~! Ludwig, come with me and fratello to play!"

"DAMNIT! DON'T INVITE THE POTATO BASTARD, IDIOT FRATELLINO!"

"Fratello, remember-"

"Okay, okay, damnit! Fine!"

The BTT, now reunited, sat in the chairs while sipping beer, wine, tequilas, and whatnot.

"Kesesesese... nothing is better than the awesome me with awesome beer while being in this place (that is awesome because of the awesome me) while the piano bastard is not!"

"Ummmm... Gilbert... Saying that's a bad idea." Francis remarked while shivering slightly.

Meanwhile, in Austria...

"Roderiech, bring some cookies and swimming trunks. We're leaving."

"Why now, Elizaveta? At least warn me before you go on a trip."

Elizaveta's eyes glinted with something dangerous and persuasive, which made Roderiech sigh and start packing.

Elizaveta herself grabbed a thick, enhanced frying pan (courtesy of Kiku)

"Don't sigh. I'm doing it for you."

Back at the party...

"Dude, don't pull my hair!"

"You deserve it! After all, you're the one that made us bloody late!"

"Guys, guys, stop fighting..."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Matthew, your owner..."

Sighing, Matthew grabbed the items from the car trunk and made his way to the beach. Arthur and Alfred, whom he was staying with, were fighting, again, about what to bring (mainly hamburgers, but most of the time, it was about that wand).

_Flashback..._

"_Dude, that wand always messes up! Last time you tried a spell on me, you ended up turning Matthew invisible!"_

"_Matthew? Where is... oh, there you are, lad."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_I'm Matthew, the one who feeds you..."_

"_WELL, YOU'RE NOT BRINGING THAT WAND, IGGY!"_

"_YES I WILL! AND IT IS ONLY FOR SAFETY PURPOSES!"_

"_WELL, YOU CAN RELY ON YOUR FAIRIES- wait, THEY DON'T EXIST! HAHA!"_

"_THEY DO EXIST, YOU IMPUDENT GIT! I WILL SHOW YOU! ARUNMUS CAJ-"_

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DON'T DO-"_

_A poof of smoke filled the room. As the dense fog cleared out, Arthur and Matthew gasped in surprise._

"_A-a-alfred... you're-you're-"_

"_-a fairy."Arthur finished for Matthew._

_Indeed he was. Alfred was floating with wings beside Arthur, miniature and looked just like his chibi self._

"_CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!"His former caretaker grabbed Alfred out of the air and squeezed the air out of him with a massive hug._

_It took an hour to get Arthur off of Alfred, another hour to persuade Arthur to turn Alfred back, and another hour to figure out what to bring, mainly about the hamburgers and scones, which both were brought._

_Matthew tiredly packed the things, while the other two nations were fighting again. _

"_Why is it that I always have to sort things out for them? Can't they be mature for at least an hour together, eh? And they don't even notice me..."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_I'm Matthew..."_

_As it turns out, Matthew had to drive Alfred and Arthur to the beach. Half the car ride was silent. They did not want to experience Manada again after the first hour inside the car._

"_Where's the fish?"_

"_It's in the back, Kuma... You'll just have to wait."_

"_Who are you again?"_

"_Matthew."_

Matthew set the hamburgers on a giant tray and placed them in the center of the table as Alfred wanted. Then he took out a box with the words HAZARDOUS MATERIAL in the front and took a bag with the same words printed on it along with some professional gloves, the ones used for testing nuclear waste. Carefully, with a gas mask on, he removed the burnt scones that were kept inside a glass container and put it in an isolated section of the table.

"HEY MATTIE!"

Matthew looked to see a familiar albino run up toward him with a beer bottle.

"Yeah? Wait-don't drag me! Ow ow ow!"

"HEY GUYS! MATTIE'S NOW IN THE GROUP!"

Matthew took a whiff. No wonder. Gilbert was half-drunk. He drank 50 bottles already?

"Ohonhonhonhon~ I sure raised Mattheiu well!"

"Hola amigos! Do you want to pet Senor Tortuga?"

"Keseseseseses..."

"Guys..."

Gilbert shouted loudly, "YOU'RE STILL BETTER THAN THE PIANO BASTARD! DON'T BE SO SELF CONSCIOUS, IT'S UN-AWESOME! HAVE SOME AWESOME GERMAN BEER!"

"O-o-okay..."

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG 

A thick, metal object hit the side of Gilbert's head, causing him to immediately crumple in pain.

A very pissed Elizaveta with a very thick frying pan stood behind Gilbert, her eyes flaming. Roderiech looked on and sighed. Not again.

Gilbert flew five feet into the air and landed in the lake. Fortunately, he was wearing swimming trunks underneath. Unfortunately, the rest of the BTT and Matthew were also swept into the lake, landing with a splash and several oophs! Onto the albino, who was sinking.

"Say that one more time, Gilbert, and you shall face death!"

Gilbert groaned, "Great. The frying pan bi***-"

Which earned him another blow to the head and another distance of five feet into the air and deeper into the lake.

"Shut up Gilbert!"

"I told you so, Gilbert! Mon cher, if she was any angrier-"

The whole BTT fell into the deepest section of the lake. Luckily, Matthew was spared.

"Ve~ Mr. Austria and Hungary arrived! Hello!"

A big van arrived and parked near the beach.

"你好，aru! We've arrived!"

"Konnichiwa."

"Yo, da-ze! OW! Mei, that hurt!"

"... We should start unpacking now."

"Guys! Calm down! Hello, everyone! :)"

The big group of Asians grabbed whatever-dumplings, Shinatty-chan, fried rice, kimchi, sashimi, Peking duck, Vietnam noodles, other piles of food, emergency woks, and a guide book to saying English- and headed toward the picnic table.

"Da, I was lucky today."

Ivan crept out from the back of the van with his piles of vodka. He made it away from Natalya this time. Thank goodness for big woks.

Feliciano's closed eyes swept the entire party. His party. Gilbert was being assaulted by Roderiech and Elizaveta while Matthew was trying to make peace. Antonio was being beaten up by Lovino. Francis was attempting to rape Arthur as always. Expect RoChu. And a lot of fighting. Being drunk. Naked. Stripping. But Feliciano did not sense the future. Yet. He felt happy-his brother accepted Ludwig and was actually being nice for a change. If nice meant yelling and Germany to give up on potatoes and convert to tomato-ism, or whatever.

Feliciano eyes suddenly landed on a cake. A pink frosted cake with past a on it. With the words "With love, Ludwig Beilschmidt." He smiled. A cute, meaningful smile that was reserved for only the perfect times of day. Ludwig caught it and smiled back. With a love that could never be seperated. Not even by war.

Isn't this the perfect ending?

Well, maybe not.


End file.
